SANNIE DINK DIS SULKE TYD

No.2 (27/6/1998)

Die ander aand sit ons ouens maar taamlik bedremmeld om die hardekoolvuur. Iemand het in sy wysheid besluit om Dok Sarel saam te nooi, en ons ouens voel ons maar bra ontuis in hooggeleerde geselskap. Ons snuif-snuif net so aan die blikbekers, want almal is bang as ons Maandag gaan kla oor seer mae of gewrigte, Dok sal sê dis van te veel suip. Waar het jy nou gesien 'n mens drink WHISKY uit 'n KRISTALGLAS hier langs die Olifants! Die leeus het hoeka al gebrul, en dis tyd vir 'n storie, maar ons hou ons in. Die eentonige geaambeeld van 'n vrugtevlermuis in die Waterbessie beur ons ook nie juis op nie.

"Dok, vertel vir ons 'n storie," verbreek Jongeling Dunn die stilte, en ons val amper van ons stompe af. As daar nou iemand is met 'n heilige vrees vir Dok Sarel, dan is dit Jongeling. Toe Dok so 'n diep teug aan sy whisky vat en sê, "Gee my 'n sigaret," val ons amper in die vuur.

"Voor ek hier gekom het, het ek op Vanrhynsdorp gewerk," sê Dok op sy ernstige, kliniese manier. "So 50km van daar af het Basjan de Koker op die Knersvlakte met skaap probeer boer. Basjan was, om dit lig te stel, nie Nobel-prys materiaal nie. En hy het baie erg gehakkel. Na jare se gesukkel het Basjan sy vrou Sannie swanger gekry. Op 'n môre kom Basjan van die skaap af by die huis vir brekfis. 'Basjan, ek dink dis sulke tyd, jy moet die suster loop roep,' sê Sannie redelik benoud. Van hier af is dit beter as Basjan self vertel:"

"E-e-ek s-s-sp-spring d-d-daar o-o-op d-d-die d-d-dik-w-w-wiel e-e-en e-e-ek t-t-trap d-d-dorp t-t-toe. D-d-die s-s-son i-i-is w-w-warm, m-m-maar e-e-ek t-t-trap. K-k-kom e-e-ek b-b-by d-d-die s-s-sus-t-t-ter, s-s-sê e-e-ek 'S-s-sus-t-t-ter, S-s-san-n-n-nie s-s-sê s-s-sy d-d-dink d-d-dis s-s-sulke t-t-tyd, j-j-jy m-m-moet k-k-kom!' S-s-sê d-d-die s-s-sus-t-ter 'R-r-ry m-m-maar, e-e-ek k-k-kom.' T-t-trap e-e-ek d-d-daai d-d-dik-w-w-wiel t-t-terug p-p-plaas t-t-toe."

"L-l-langs d-d-die p-p-pad j-j-jaag d-d-die s-s-sus-t-t-ter b-b-by m-m-my v-v-ver-b-b-by. K-k-kom e-e-ek b-b-by d-d-die h-h-huis, s-s-staan d-d-die s-s-sus-t-t-ter o-o-op d-d-die s-s-stoep. 'M-m-moei- l-l-lik-h-h-heid, j-j-jy m-m-moet d-d-die d-d-dok-t-t-ter l-l-loop r-r-roep!' s-s-sê d-d-die s-s-sus-t-t-ter."

"S-s-sp-spring e-e-ek d-d-daar o-o-op d-d-die d-d-dik-w-w-wiel, t-t-trap e-e-ek d-d-dorp t-t-toe. D-d-die s-s-son i-i-is w-w-warm, m-m-maar e-e-ek t-t-trap. K-k-kom e-e-ek b-b-by d-d-die d-d-dok-t-t-ter, s-s-sê e-e-ek 'D-d-dok-t-t-ter, S-s-san-n-n-nie d-d-dink d-d-dis s-s-sulke t-t-tyd, d-d-die s-s-sus-t-t-ter d-d-dink d-d-daar i-i-is m-m-moei-l-l-lik-h-h-heid. J-j-jy m-m-moet k-k-kom!' S-s-sê d-d-die d-d-dok-t-t-ter 'R-r-ry m-m-maar, e-e-ek k-k-kom.' T-t-trap e-e-ek d-d-daai d-d-dik-w-w-wiel t-t-terug p-p-plaas t-t-toe."

"L-l-langs d-d-die p-p-pad j-j-jaag d-d-die d-d-dok-t-t-ter b-b-by m-m-my v-v-ver-b-b-by. K-k-kom e-e-ek b-b-by d-d-die h-h-huis, s-s-staan d-d-die d-d-dok-t-t-ter o-o-op d-d-die s-s-stoep e-e-en r-r-rook p-p-pyp. S-s-sê d-d-die d-d-dok-t-t-ter 'D-d-die w-w-wa- t-t-ter h-h-het n-n-nou n-n-net g-g-ge-b-b-breek.' "

"S-s-sê e-e-ek 'A-a-ag j-j-jirre d-d-dok-t-t-ter, m-m-moe- n-n-nie v-v-vir m-m-my s-s-sê e-e-ek m-m-moet 'n-'n-'n p-p-plumber l-l-loop r-r-roep n-n-nie!"

[ENGLISH SUMMARY: After the initial small talk, Doc Sarel tells a story about Basjan de Koker, a stammerer who is also not very intelligent. On a particular morning Basjan was requested by his wife to call the midwife, because she was in labour. He took his bicycle, and pedalled the 50km to town, informing the midwife. She overtook him on his way back, and on arriving back, he was informed that complications were suspected, and he had to call the doctor. Back to town on his bicycle.

On arriving back, the doctor informed him that 'the water has broken' (the membranes have ruptured), upon which Basjan exclaimed 'P-p-please, d-d-don't t-t-tell m-m-me i-i-I h-h-have t-t-to c-c-call a-a-a p-p-plumber!']